Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Good Bye

Where to start? This post has been a long time coming, probably since the very day that I started blogging. I had considered not even bothering to write this post, but I didn't want to leave the blog hanging with no explanation of what had come to pass.

Without further ado, I'm finished with this blog. I don't expect that I'll ever post here again.

If you've actually paid attention to this blog, you're already aware that I'm a horrible blogger. I think the reason that I've never been any good, was that I never applied myself to improving and becoming a blogger. And I know for a fact that I never applied myself because I never wanted to be a blogger in the first place.

I started this blog, and the one before it, when I was still in high school. At the time, I thought that I wanted to be a blogger for all the wrong reasons. I as an impressionable teenager, was "blazing a brave new uncharted trail of differentness," and so I did what all the "good Christian woman" of the time were doing, blogging as a platform to promote my lifestyle.

Looking back a decade later, I have a lot of sympathy for the girl I was then. I was struggling with feeling like I had no validation for how I lived. I was surrounded by outside voices who were telling me how I should dress, how I should think, how I should act, what choices I needed to make pertaining to my life. As a girl on the cusp of womanhood, I wanted desperately to feel like someone thought my life was worth their approval.

The problem was, in my rush for validating my differentness, I spent all my time trying to be someone that other people would want to be emulating. I wanted other people to be different just like me. In the midst of that, I stopped listening to the ones who really mattered: God and my parents.

I was so busy conforming to being "different" as other people defined it that I lost my identity as an individual: created unique and for a purpose. My focus was convincing other people that I was right and they were wrong, because that's what other people were doing to me. It's an empty, useless place to be. I lost my focus and my joy.

I'm so thankful that I learned about grace and forgiveness. I'm healing and redirecting my life.

I see this blog as an extension of my past, a sign that I was trying very hard to work out my own salvation by following man made rules and my feeble attempt to convince other people to do the same. I don't want to be that person any longer.  Instead of trying to change myself to meet peoples' approval, I'm moving on to rejoice in the person that God created me to be.

My last parting thoughts before retiring from this page.

Live for Christ first.
Seek Him diligently.
Find your peace and contentment in His Gospel of Grace.
Rejoice in who He's created you to be.
Talk to the people who really love and care about you.
Surround yourself with truly Godly individuals.
Walk away from people who are trying to force you to be someone you're not.
Put aside man-made legality, don't allow man to bind your conscience.
Have convictions, but know why you hold them and don't place them higher in your esteem than Scripture.

Christ's grace is always sufficient.

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